What Waiters say Vs. What they actually mean

“Welcome to Alonso’s Grill and Bar. Oh how nice, you brought seven children along! We love children at Alonso’s Grill and Bar.”

“Would you rather I clicked a picture of all of you together?”

“You want to Instagram this piping hot plate of Lasagne while I hold it? How simply Marvellous!”

“You want the cheese burger without the beef patty but with a chicken patty, 3 bacon strips and some neatly chopped onions over it?”

“I would really recommend the fish, sir. It’s really fresh and our chef insists that you try it.”

“Would you like regular or bottled water, sir?”

“You want a table that’s equidistant to the bar and dessert table, but at the same time away from the loo?”

You’d like something that’s paleo, vegan and gluten free?

Your bill is on its way.

We’ll be seeing you soon now, won’t we sir?