The Real Food Pyramids That Define The Way We Eat

Remember the time way back into childhood when we were forced to learn about the food pyramid? One simple diagram instructed us about what and how much to eat to live a healthy, fulfilled life. But, whether it was because we were forced to learn about it, or because we’re simply too lazy, barely any of us follow it. Despite nutritionists’ hopes we’re more likely to be eating according to the food pyramids below, created courtesy Someecards. Prepare yourself for some full-bellied, and possibly guilty laughter.

1)  18 – 22 year olds

We were still developing our moral compass when we stole our roomate’s food and pretended not to have a clue when later questioned. Or so we like to tell ourselves. Just as we like to tell ourselves that the amount of beer we ingested in our early adulthood won’t come back to haunt us. 

2) 23 – 29 year olds

We eat huge amounts of food at friends’ weddings to forget about how it should be us getting married. At times, we decide we want to be healthy and go vegan or gluten-free only to get lazy. Or hungry for real food. 

3) 30 – 41 year olds

We’ve moved on from beer and hard drinks to wine, which is more classy. We drink a lot of it. We also eat lots of salads in an effort to stay somewhat slim but smother it in mayonnaise or ranch dressing which kind of defeats the purpose. 

4) 42 – 69 year olds

We’ve started taking more pills than we’d liked to admit and we’re starting to feel those beer drinking days catching up to us. In a desperate attempt to regain the health we enjoyed as youth we drink lots of green smoothies. But we also drink lots of wine. 

5) 70 + years old

We are now only able to ingest pills. And pureed food. Those beer drinking, wine drowning days have come back to haunt us – and how. 

Did these pyramids leave you laughing? Amidst the laughter, maybe there was some guilty recognition and fear as well? After all, no matter how funny it is we’d rather not end up living the 70+ pyramid. Maybe we should start taking baby steps towards more healthy food choices. Just saying.